Feeling Worse in Therapy? Here’s Why That’s Normal
(And Why That’s Not a Sign You’re Doing It Wrong)
So you started therapy…
… and now you feel like a total mess.
You cry more.
You’re exhausted after sessions.
You’re second-guessing your relationships, your coping skills, your entire life.
And part of you is wondering:
“Is this supposed to be helping me… or making me worse?”
First of all — you’re not alone.
This is so common it’s almost a rite of passage.
And no, it doesn’t mean therapy isn’t working. In fact, it might be the exact opposite.
Here's What’s Actually Happening
Most of us come to therapy with coping strategies that have kept us safe (or at least functional) for years:
Bottling things up
Numbing out
Overperforming
People-pleasing
Avoiding the hard stuff
Therapy gently (or sometimes not-so-gently) interrupts those patterns.
It invites you to feel what you’ve been avoiding, look at what you’ve been ignoring, and question what you've always believed about yourself, your family, and your relationships.
That can feel like emotional whiplash.
It's Like Cleaning Out a Closet
Imagine your mind is a closet.
Therapy opens the door and pulls everything out — the grief, the shame, the unfinished business — so you can actually see it.
At first, it’s a mess.
Things feel worse before they’re better because you’re in the middle of the process, not the end.
You’re not falling apart. You’re just un-numbing.
Common Reactions That Are Actually Progress
Increased crying or emotionality: You’re thawing out. Feeling = healing.
Dreams, memories, or emotions surfacing: Your unconscious is opening up.
Feeling confused or disoriented: Old narratives are breaking down. Your system is recalibrating.
Relationship tension: You’re changing… and systems don’t like change.
More self-awareness… followed by overwhelm: You’re seeing patterns clearly for the first time. That’s intense — and normal.
Therapy Is Not a Quick Fix. It’s an Unfolding.
There’s no tidy checklist for healing.
There’s no guarantee that each session will feel “productive.”
But something is still happening. Under the surface. In your nervous system. In your internal world.
Therapy isn’t about solving your problems as fast as possible — it’s about transforming how you relate to yourself, your past, and the world.
That takes time.
And sometimes? That hurts.
But pain in therapy isn’t a red flag. It’s often a sign that something real and raw and important is finally being touched.
A Few Reminders:
Feeling worse doesn’t mean you’re getting worse. It means you’re finally getting close to the truth.
The discomfort is temporary — but the insight, self-trust, and clarity that emerge can change everything.
You can name the discomfort in therapy. That’s part of the work, too.
You’re allowed to go slow. Safety is always more important than speed.
Final Thought
Therapy is kind of like emotional physical therapy.
You’re working muscles you haven’t used in years — or maybe ever. It’s going to feel weird, sore, and shaky at first.
But with time, something incredible happens:
You start to feel more you.
More whole.
More steady.
More like the version of yourself you always knew was under there.
Keep going.
It does get better.